//消えない願い//

2011-08-10T23:55:00.001+08:00

peoples i am getting a tumblr.

onthepier.tumblr.com

i cannot access cbox to get rid of my spam and that is the last straw.

2011-08-10T23:33:00.002+08:00

all we need is a little bit of momentum.

and I need to stop inching away from people and life and awkwardness because that is how friendships are killed.

all my summer reading is done and i've done so much thinking forwards-backwards-inside-out about That Which Is Us that i wind up dizzy and back at the start with no conclusion.

i wrote a long pretty passage about the stinging allergen that is reality and then killed it because it made no sense and cut too close.

and meanwhile in all my hypocrisy i sit and worry, because other people have rivers of hatred that run longer and cut deeper and closer to the bone in all directions, and as a friend i don't know where my job is, and certainly not where it isn't. pleasestayokay, and please please please if you still read this blog I may be a bumbling fool who occasionally confuses right with left and whose foot is far too acquainted with her mouth (figuratively speaking, as i feel obligated to point out after witnessing some of Katie's acrobatics), but i'm always going to be here for you.

2011-08-08T23:38:00.002+08:00

it's been a while-- Barcelona was amazing!

except for the albino-panda sunburn it gave me, and the lack of breathing room on that one train to the beach.

what to say? i made a billion great friends, had all the skin on my shoulders peel off, bought clothes, ate candy, brought back gum, laughed, cried, fell down on the sidewalk....

SO MUCH LOVE, Barcelona.

There was icecream, there were dead jellyfish, there was good pizza and there was awful pizza. There were relatives and strangers and bicycles.

I don't know how to begin, because I wouldn't know where to end.

2011-06-27T22:38:00.003+08:00

listening to the two cds i bought in hongkong--- one is by Panic at the Disco and the other by Mumford & Sons.

(re: the latter-- SEE NAOMI I LISTENED TO YOU.)

i am going to be going to the Paramore concert in August here in Singapore! this is brilliant news.

today I sat at home and did nothing but read manga and organise my iTunes library. what a waste of a day of vacation.

it was nice to just rest for a while thoughhh. the laziness that vacation permits is so addictive i think i might end up with severe withdrawal symptoms come august....

and on July 2nd, BARCELONA HERE I COMEEEEEE.

if anyone who actually still reads this blog wants me to bring something back for them, let me know soon!

2011-06-26T23:46:00.002+08:00

this.... is a blogpost!

Back from Hong Kong, which was more or less a brilliant trip. Ocean Park was tremendous fun, even though the lines were longish and the sun brightish.

And at the Hong Kong Museum of Art there was the awesomest awesomest ink art exhibition.

I took the Star Ferry!

Also, bringing back Otto and the Flying Twins simply because of its great sentimental value and general heartedness.

things i did not like about today: being herded around with kathy by bored stewardesses in the Hong Kong and Singapore airports.

things i liked about today: visiting katie (who is leaving for the USA tomorrow, dearie me)

I am so so sleepy.

sister threw another tantrum today

my eyelids are prickling with sleep, the lights are out, and due to popular demand my laptop lighting is nearly nil. goodnight, good people; i'm going to Spain.

hopefully not right now though because i need to speak to christabella once she gets back.

2011-06-13T00:16:00.000+08:00

things Edith really ought to know:

the difference between Tori Amos and Toni Braxton.

every once in a while my cluelessness makes me laugh.

2011-05-31T19:44:00.002+08:00

exams are over, math olympiad still to be completed.

i have absolutely nothing of worth and import to say.

the sisters are squabbling and life is about as dull as it's ever been.

ikea trip tomorrow.

also tomorrow:

school holiday

day i have to buy a replacement Bill Bryson book

twomonthiversary.

2011-05-24T21:25:00.001+08:00

i currently feel absolutely rubbishly depressed.

2011-05-20T12:31:00.002+08:00

it's a friday and i'm not half as sleepy as i think i was last friday

hurrah for tuesdays off! this is glorious.

i will go to KFC later and celebrate the whole Fridayness of today and then I will finish my Physics lab at long, long last and create an extra credit video for Math and work on English and study for, basically, absolutely everything...

exams are a week from yesterday.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

2011-05-16T23:13:00.002+08:00

i remembered how not to screw up the formatting with my blog's font, but i don't particularly feel like editing the last entry.

also: nightwish! yoru-senpai, you liar, you told me i wouldn't like your music.

more bad-translator:

Chess is his age. He asked. Federal Republic of Yugoslavia and of the heart muscle. Try it.

But you can kiss a lot of young people.

I need to clean, my dear, I do not know why I am waiting.

However, no effect, but only applies.

If you want to share.

2011-05-15T12:02:00.002+08:00

http://www.cheatingtranslators.com/bad-translator

"I say, I have your name, I can not say that I can love. You have spent the rest of your life man."

"We, of course, I had a dream that do not know what is appropriate for one day. I am not a cat or a small apartment called the ducks and trout again, do you mean?"

"He is married to life in Canada. Do not be evil in the world to start a series of injury frustration and anger, too."

"I means so much to me that, if you encounter a cat blinking, I do not know, do not. And, of course, but the media. But whatever happens, I hope"

"Or is it me? Because someone told me you are young if you think it might be better, and love, they almost spend more time together ... but we are case-sensitive shall be, and I think that means a lot to me."

"This is our life, is itself."

hahaha when you need a deliberately-fail online translator to warp your words beyond atll recognition before you can bring yourself to make them public...something's weird.

2011-05-14T23:30:00.002+08:00

HAIKU HOUR.

a bright splotch of pink

in an ocean of blue-grey

your texts make me smile.

half-past-eleven

is late to be up, and still

i can't close my eyes

i don't really dare

step past that line in the sand

give me a signal?

what the flying f-

am i doing up right now

edith you halfwit.

i hope you had a

really beautiful birthday

have a cyber-hug.

due to the hour, if

the syllable count is off

don't blame me too much.

2011-05-14T20:49:00.002+08:00

opheliac.

i mean, what?

on a different note, i'm sorry for calling at the wrong time again, i really am

please don't leave the container with me for too long

things that get left in my house tend to get lost in the tides of entropy.

i feel as though I could write a novel.

this is a bad sign.

caged by my ribs is a heart-shaped balloon.

2011-05-10T14:45:00.002+08:00

am in bio class while the rest of my group dissects a heart.

o what fun.

katie is talking about how it smells like soya chicken and melinda is actually cutting something and i am sitting at my computer being singularly unproductive.

.___.

2011-05-08T22:11:00.003+08:00

i'm up later than i intended to be, praying one of my ipods will work

so i can go to sleep

before the Big AP Tomorrow.

aah physics how you haunt me.

i should have spent more time drilling it all into my head, maybe

but it's too late to change anything

and i'm fairly sure i'm going to go out there and do well.

hahaha i only just found out I can use my TI-Nspire CAS for the AP... should probably have known that before, really. oops?

and then Thursday is Christabella's birthday and i'm planning to just show up at her house with presents and some cheesecake, since we're not going to be able to get around to having a party till like June.

and yesterday yoru-senpai and i watched thor and it was really quite a good movie and i'm glad i went. it was nice, and i managed to get mothers' day presents for my mother- ANIMAL SOAP- and we actually mysteriously ran into her in carrefour.

yay outings!

aah sleepy.

2011-05-05T21:52:00.002+08:00

almond, arborvitae.

lilac.

viscaria?

2011-05-05T20:43:00.002+08:00

curiouser and curiouser.

(oh how i love how spellcheck thinks that's a word. whether it actually is or not is immaterial; i was expecting the everpresent red squiggle and it's. not. there.)

anyway!

i demand an introduction.

2011-05-05T18:45:00.002+08:00

so i was doing the whole cyber-stalking thing today

and for the first time i feel like i crossed a line.

in the end just because people are pouring themselves out online

doesn't make it ethical for me to stop by and watch the fireworks.

just some random girl's blog that she wasn't expecting me to ever come across, that she didn't give me the link to, that she doesn't know i saw

that she wouldn't have wanted me to stumble upon

and now i wish i hadn't because i just feel bad.

let this be a lesson, i guess; reducing my cyber-creeping habits can only ever be a good thing.

she'll probably never find this

(serves me right if she does)

but i'm so, so sorry.

2011-05-03T21:04:00.002+08:00

it's just late and i'm just worried about my AP tomorrow and i'm not mugging like i should, either.

you're lucky, he's lucky, i'm lucky.

how to make the world keep turning, though?

birthday tiiiime.

my sister's computer is loud and i for once am quiet and the lot next door has shut down at lengthy last.

keyboard clicking.

it's a depressing evening and I am depressed, sitting here in my post-insomniac haze spamming my half-dead blog.

codependent person that i am.

(i wrote you a letter!)

god i'm so clueless

i need advice posthaste and i don't have the guts to ask for it either.

2011-05-02T10:54:00.002+08:00

you know that thing when you make plans with someone and oversleep and then they haven't tried to contact you at all? very confusing!

although today absolutely has to be my Homework Day, so... guess it works out about the same. For now at least. I have English to print out and do.

also: i neeeed to stop procrastinating, yes i do.

2011-04-29T11:53:00.003+08:00

this blog is getting so so so dead.

right now i am sitting at lunch while everyone else at this table laughs hysterically at a youtube video. edith the loner!

my english soliloquy went gloriously. many thanks to katie for lending me her grandmother's frilly prom dress so as to be able to be Juliet semi-convincingly.

what else?

art project = writing and illustrating a children's book. this is our final exam project and i for one am scareded. especially since my friend Alisha is doing this amazing thing with dogs in colour pencil and everything i try to do is splashy and messy and weird.

going to church with Christabella's family on Sunday, wish me much luck.

(okay so i kind of invited myself over.)

life in general has been stressful, but at least i have a grand total of one of my six final exams done. hurrah? (and, if anyone cares, the physics exam at least went brilliantly. now for worrying about everything else.)

my math AP is on wednesday.

2011-04-22T22:20:00.000+08:00

have i done something wrong?

2011-04-22T18:18:00.004+08:00

400th post!

am oh-so-vaguely emo

have gotten Gimp to function on my computer.

therefore capable of transforming vague emo input into productivity!output

(or at least, completely value-less drawing!output, but whatever)

sometimes one goes around thinking one can call up whoever whenever and just talk at them for a while.

sometimes one is incredibly inconsiderate of other people's schedules, and since when is 5 in the afternoon lengthy-telephone-time?

i'm sorry for interrupting your life like that for no reason.

but i don't suppose we could have that lengthy phonecall some other time?

because we used to, and I miss that.

2011-04-18T20:29:00.001+08:00

am having weird swelling in this vein on my right hand

it just sort of puffs up and ACHES and i don't even have anything blocking the circulation either

Ri-chan why do our schedules mismatch so badly?

ow ow ow right hand deadnesss.

2011-04-16T06:25:00.001+08:00

busy busy busy busy busy

mock AP today WISH ME LUCK.

i totally almost forgot to put batteries in my calculator....

AP art show yesterday was awesome... i ate too much of the free food and ended up feeling illl.

auugh no time my math mock which btw is also a test grade starts at 8.

2011-04-08T22:40:00.002+08:00

poetry thing today.

what to say?

i stressed a lot, did okay, didn't get into the finals.

sat between katie and a lovely girl who reminded me kind of Mercutio from the Romeo and Juliet movie adaptation we watched. sometimes i really wish i could do the whole outgoing thing with strangers and smile back at people instead of sitting freaking out and open-mouth-insert-footing quite so much.

missed awa's party. SAD SAD SAD.

everything else went okay.

everything else has been going okay.

who sends letters and forgets postage or a return address?

ME.

2011-04-04T21:25:00.002+08:00

don't be an idiot, self.

i'm missing awa's birthday party because of Poetry Out Loud.

this is tragic.

i am painfully aware all of a sudden that i don't have awa's new-ish number in my phone

WHAT IS THIS EVEN.

i shall now proceed to inform her tearfully via email.

SERIOUSLY WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN

2011-04-04T20:32:00.002+08:00

aaaah sometimes everyone needs to rant.

why so many issues, world?

today i had a falling-out with Katie over the word 'itch'. i will not discuss it further.

also had much chocolate. (ended up going to her house anyway.)

TOMORROW I AM GOING AWA-PRESENT-SHOPPING AT PLAZA SING WITH CHRISTABELLA. THIS IS AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME.

awa's birthday

is going to be

AWESOME

yes it is.

2011-04-02T09:28:00.002+08:00

now what?

haha but it's awesome.

this weekend i have to study for world history and physics; less awesome.

in other words: I BE F---ED. ;__;

yesterday was either catastrophic in a good way or epic in a bad way.

it was just... very intense.

no more fashion shows; no more giving Katie coca-cola; no more swearing as one walks by churches, even when it's completely justified. (there might be religious people standing right on the other side of the fence from you who will give you the epic side-eye and make you sink through the ground and die, what are you talking about of course this has never happened to me especially not yesterday.)

...yes.

April Fools' is the new Valentines'.

2011-03-30T06:21:00.001+08:00

I WATCHED NAOMI'S THEATRE PERFORMANCE AND IT WAS EPIC.

but ri-chan had to go right afterwards.

RI-CHAN WHY YOU ABANDON MEEE.

then took the bus back with Awa.

school has been alright so far but i'm still mourning Spring Break.

2011-03-26T22:38:00.002+08:00

i am in an antagonistic mood right now.

wondering very slightly why I even bother.

(with what? with life? when antagonism and sleepiness converge--)

i worry.

the two of you why do you do what you do.

i told you more than i wanted to tell you,

please please don't judge.

somehow i don't know when to shut up;

what i say accomplishes nothing.

if you can't say no and you can't win

you're never never going to be happy.

edith when will you get that through your thick thick skull.

if i can't tell you there's a problem without telling you the problem, where are we?

somehow i tell you anyway.

2011-03-23T20:27:00.002+08:00

the Madonna was yours for free

why is it so late.

holiday has been epic thus far and is now halfway over, boo. tomorrow is my homework + serious stuff day. i intend to get art stuff DONE.

aaaagh wish me luck.

also, inception cookie for breakfast.

re-reading a lot of hetalia and, for lack of a better term, rediscovering my youth. oh how how how i love this stuff.

someday i will visit Lithuania.

2011-03-22T15:28:00.002+08:00

paint the town blue because baby, red is so passé.

uncharted waters, yes.

HOLIDAY GOD I LOVE HOLIDAYS.

sleepover at ri-chan's and black swan and then sleepover at katie's and microwaved marshmallows and chloe's awesome baked goods of awesomeness.

also met up with Yoru-senpai at plaza sing which was awesome awesome awesome.

so tired. =//

2011-03-18T23:26:00.002+08:00

if you fell in love right now i'd be jealous.

it's not even like that so i don't know why.

there is no such thing as sin.

today was blah. okay so it took me 70+ minutes and 20+ dollars to get to kallang from school... and then it turns out 409 changed outing venue and i wasn't on the mailing list when the change-of-plans was texted to everyone.

in the end i wasted 2 hours and $40 just to get home from school.

no hard feelings, just.... meh.

Russell you are awesome for being all willing to lend me money though. =))))

it is bloooooody late and Skins is over for the year.

2011-03-16T21:52:00.003+08:00

SO SLEEPY god today has been awful.

am going to bed as soon as i sort out some page numbers for english.

all day my head has been trying to melt and fall off.

unfun.

the week has been boringish but tomorrow i am meeting ri-chan.

NO TIME TO BLOG EVEN WHAT IS THIS

2011-03-14T09:15:00.002+08:00

aaugh just almost was about to get Skype at school and then REMEMBERED that you're not allowed to download things at school because of bandwidth.

also, read the newspaper this morning.

things are so awful in Japan.

which, really, is so much more sad than not being able to download skype that it makes me feel bad for even mentioning it.

;___;

2011-03-13T09:07:00.002+08:00

my math olympiad classes have at last ended.

teacher is retiring.

THIS IS SO TRAGIC. i've been going for four years and that is like more than one quarter of my life.

IT IS THE END OF AN ERA. (i even cried a little.)

2011-03-12T10:13:00.000+08:00

japan. :(

2011-03-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

your defensiveness would irritate if i weren't so laggy.

2011-03-11T23:09:00.003+08:00

what

to say

about

today.

watched Skins. yesterday's episode = The Epic Amazingness. i am headoverheels in love with Franky and also Christabella call me sometime we Must Talk About Skins Because Seriously.

study session at katie's again.

nothing really got done this time round

why am i so unproductive?

haha got my JLPT cert at Bugis like 3min before the office closed.

today was Good Vibes Day at school and we got to wear jeans and brightly-coloured shirts. RAINBOW ALL THE WAY PEOPLE.

full marks on my poetry test. HAPPY FACE.

this morning's relaxing exercise was still pretty rubbish though.

and SKINS SKINS SKINS I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER, O RECENT EPISODE OF EMO AND AWESOME AND LITERARY METAPHORS AND MAD PARTYING AND ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENTS AND DAKOTA BLUE RICHARDS.

some tv shows are just that awesome.

speaking of which, i do plan to watch the most recent episode of glee.

SANTANA.

that is all.

2011-03-11T08:46:00.003+08:00

sleepy as all hell and feeling like ROADKILL. you know it's bad when a Relaxing Activity just makes you feel awfuller.

(spellcheck, you pick up on 'spellcheck' but not 'awfuller'? i need to catch up on my english language, clearly)

learning about WWI and Otto von Bismarck, who keeps getting his poor name pronounced 'Autobahn Bismarck'. Not exactly something you'd name your kid (i hope.)

was going to meet up with Naomi but my school ends too late. SADDED. also going to pick up my JLPT N3 certificate today DID I MENTION I PASSED (with like 56% but still) and also having a study session with Katiee.

IT'S FRIDAY.

many hearts.

2011-03-09T15:23:00.001+08:00

okay so i showed up here at this club meeting classroom because i got an email last night that there was a meeting 'after school'. school ends at 3. it's 3:24 and if nobody is here by 3:30 I AM LEAVING.

AAAAUGH.

also my back hurts today I BLAME MY SCHOOLBAG.

2011-03-08T17:53:00.001+08:00

haha met up with Awa today I feel so social.

2011-03-07T21:13:00.002+08:00

when one is communicating through an anonymous medium and another passes themselves off as the origin of one's own anonymous communications... it is an incredibly irritating thing.

so. don't take credit for my anonymous comments. THEY ARE MINE.

RAWR.

haha i think physics went okay

again, if it didn't, I WILL BE PISSED.

saw ri-chan today, many many many many hearts.

2011-03-06T13:29:00.002+08:00

aaaaah shit i'm not special.

you're not special.

somehow we still bother with each other.

2011-03-05T23:26:00.001+08:00

one two three four.

i don't heart you but i still care.

hard not to.

2011-03-05T20:49:00.003+08:00

got to stop falling asleep with headphones in... there's nothing quite like waking up at 3am to My Chemical Romance. =/

what else?

today was crazy physics cramming time. 5 HOURS OF STUDYING PEOPLE I HAD BETTER DO WELL.

i am going to be in awa's homework i am crazy excited to be painted.

(also, in art at school my class did finger paintings of each other in acrylic the day i wore my panda earmuffs to school and the one of me is so so awesome and prettier than i actually am. ALISHA IS SO AWESOME.)

2011-03-04T20:46:00.003+08:00

ugh.

i want to rant. i need to rant.

i have nothing new to rant about.

one of those days when you remember that nobody built this world fair.

one word: zigzag

one more word for one more emo: overflow.

like when someone says just one word and tips over your perfectly balanced glass of poison and everything comes spilling out painful and noxious and wood-rottingly acid.

i do not do vitriol.

i do cheerfully tactless and bitterly emo and pettily grudging, though.

i wish i didn't.

i think i've lost the wand i used to wave.

the spells that spell the world its way into coherence.

no magic with which to capture the mundane but the tiresome tread of dull colours in pencil against paper

no way to say i wish i weren't as sure as i am.

(it's too much to ask for it all to balance out)

and even if the world loved me i wouldn't have a chance.

we love improbabilities so many times more than impossibilities.

how to say no, the laws of the universe don't allow it.

to say wait two minutes, because you don't know yet that you're wrong.

you're so near perfect, and

it would sting the same if you did.

but you don't.

also: life is a line of these things scraped down and shoveled out of sight.

2011-03-03T22:29:00.002+08:00

today i am faced with the painful knowledge that i am actually a horrible person.

otherwise known as: think before you talk. before i talk.

and just because you meet my shameless arrogance with vitriol... well.

(i love you, but i hate your hate.)

otherwise known as: i hate myself with a blazing passion, and you aren't perfect.

my being wrong doesn't make you right.

right?

but we're past that all now and you're still so awesome i could die.

i have this feeling i owe you chocolate though

and quite possibly that i ought to give you this link sometime.

HEARTS.

2011-02-28T22:45:00.002+08:00

dead in a pile of homework

like 5 tests coming this week

don't expect to see me online much

and if you do, please tell me to go study instead.

'bourgeoisie' is such a pretty word.

also 'proletariat'.

got to love history class. =/

ALSO: WISH ME LUCK.

2011-02-27T15:21:00.002+08:00

you know that thing where you have studying and homework to do but just sort of sit there spacing out at the computer going to random websites like FML and tvtropes to kill time even when you don't have time to kill?

i hate that feeling.

i reealllly hate that feeling.

byebye, 1.5 hours of Sunday that i'll never get back.

2011-02-27T10:49:00.002+08:00

passive-aggression.

i'm sleepy.

it's ten-to-eleven and there are going to be pancakes for breakfast.

yesterday i went to this school fair thingy and it was awesome. hot dog + freeloaded mango sticky rice for lunch! haha chloe and katie are awesome awesome people.

what else?

i'm sleeeeepy.

2011-02-25T22:21:00.002+08:00

met up with yoru-senpai! had icecream. it was all epically awesome and we went on THE GIANT ESCALATORS oh how i love the giant escalators.

then 409 outing! i was 20min early and they were 30min late. but in the end we found our way to Sunset Way and camped out at the kopitiam for a while. then icecream again! (hearts.)

it was nice to see everyone.

in particular, i'd forgotten how awesome KX was. KX YOU ARE AWESOME WE MUST TALK MORE.

what else? poetry test today. i need to learn how to say 'no' to people who ask me for help, says Katie. i thought it went really rather well.

eyes closing of their own accord in three, two, one...

2011-02-24T16:25:00.002+08:00

LIFE

it is okay.

tomorrow 409 dinner!

and yay yay yay these electric fields are slowly and gradually starting to make sense.

i have an english poetry test tomorrow though.

quelle horreur!

did miserably on the quiz, but i fully intend to follow through this time with EDITH(tm) awesomeness literary analysis.

also art tomorrow we are going to have a New Medium which i hope will be awesome. won't be as great as the conte crayon though because damn was that amazing.

what else? mo bio today was hilariously entertaining. my group fails at paternity testing. (should have known the husband would end up being the father.)

also turns out i may not have done as badly on that amc 12 as i thought...fingers crossed!!!

2011-02-23T22:29:00.002+08:00

today started out horribly and sort of got better.

AMC, don't even want to talk about.

so after that i had an icecream and milo to feel better about it

and then all the classes went by rather blahly and eventually i went off to math class which was blah as well... but then i went back to school because it was Parent's Night for the Taiwan trip, with presentations and stuff, and that was awesome.

(hearts!)

tomato-flavoured candies-- not something i'm going to try anytime soon!

also: i am on Youtube. search 'pedobear resort' if you must. hahaha taiwan was epic.

2011-02-21T19:25:00.002+08:00

I HAVE NOT POSTED IN SO SO SO LONG.

i am ashamed of myself. sadface.

today katie was ill.

double-sadface.

we're almost done with the chocolate bag already. there are exactly three pieces left.

right now i am doing my bio homework, which is actually rather fun since it's just notes and i have free rein to decorate them however i see fit. BUBBLE-LETTERS AND PRETTY COLOURS. plus also we are doing genetics and i rather like genetics.

yoru-senpai gets back Thursday night!

hearts.

2011-02-16T21:08:00.002+08:00

i am desperately doing my best to resist the pull of fandom. because, you know, i am supposed to be in possession of

a) the tiny little thing known as a social life

and b) the considerably more major thing known as an academic life.

...okay, okay, you got me; I have no life.

that doesn't change the fact, though, that writing or reading trite and clichéd fiction based on a third party's preexisting characters is completely and utterly unproductive. ONE MUST ATTEMPT TO BE PRODUCTIVE. PRODUCTIVITY IS TO BE PURSUED AT ALL COSTS.

this morning i woke up to excruciating pain in my neck and it kind of got worse from there.

i found i couldn't look straight ahead, right, or very far left, forcing me to lie in bed with my head at this bizarre half-past-ten angle waiting for someone to wake up and come collect me so I could get breakfast, painkillers and a hotpack and explain how i couldn't actually sit up because that, too, made the right inside of my neck feel like a red-hot piece of taut frayed elastic.

UNFUN.

so i managed to prop myself up on this triangular blue backrest pillow we just happened to have lying around. (i love you, triangular blue backrest pillow.) so, my now-somewhat-more-vertical self proceeded to take advantage of the opportunity to eat cornflakes without having to defy the laws of gravity more than strictly necessary. (i love you, whoever it was actually took time off to bring immobilized-Edith cornflakes. i can't remember, having been very nearly asleep.)

and so i couldn't go to school.

and so i couldn't bring Katie her chocolate stash and we couldn't chocolate-feast. and i missed math class!

i actually rather dislike missing math class.

katie and i exchanged a few emails, which was a much-needed diversion, and i did my Physics and History homework, and- i'll admit- wasted amounts of time on the Internet.

for which i feel kind of guilty, given that there wasn't anything wrong with my head or general intellectual function preventing me from being in school and doing Productive Things instead; even a cold or severe sleep deprivation would have made me feel a bit better about today. but Spontaneous Neck Muscle Failure? talk about random fail injuries.

gah.

2011-02-14T21:32:00.002+08:00

1. Paramore

2. Lady Gaga

3. Muse

4. Ximena Sarinana

5. Pink

6. The Pretty Reckless

7. The Dresden Dolls

8. Alanis Morissette

9. Shakira

10. Skunk Anansie

What is the first song you heard by number 6? (The Pretty Reckless)

Make Me Wanna Die, on Youtube, courtesy of Yoru-senpai.

What is your favourite song by number 8? (Alanis Morissette)

You Oughta Know. (actually i just generally heart her.)

What is your favorite lyric(s) of number 5? (Pink)

can i cheat and say the bit in Lady Marmalade that's actually said by Lil Kim?

(We independent women, some mistake us for whores/ I say why spend mine, when I can spend yours?)

haha in all seriousness i can't really think of anything. probably something related to being f---ing perfect?

What song by 3 makes you happy? (Muse)

Supermassive Black Hole. which is like one of my favourite songs EVER. twilight notwithstanding!

How did you first get into 2? (Lady Gaga)

It's Lady Gaga; the whole world can't get away from her. Fortunately, I like her, so that works out for me...

When did you get into 3? (Muse)

Cyrus fanboyed so much that I had to check it out for myself. The third or fourth time I actually liked them.

What is your favourite song by number 4? (Ximena Sarinana)

Normal. haha i don't think any of my blog-visitors have even heard of Ximena Sarinana.

How many times have you seen number 9 live? (Shakira)

Never; haven't really seen anyone live at all. SADDED.

What is your favorite song of 1? (Paramore)

Misery Business. Or or or probably Crushcrushcrush instead.

How did you become a fan of number 10? (Skunk Anansie)

come to think of it... I DON'T KNOW. probably encountered them randomly on the Internet at some point.

How long have you known 9? (Shakira)

Ten months.

Top 5 favorite songs by 6? (The Pretty Reckless)

THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE THAT MANY SONGS.

1. Just Tonight

2. Make Me Wanna Die

3. Zombie

4. My Medicine

5. Heart

Have you seen 10 live?(Skunk Anansie)

No. =(

Have you met 4? (Ximena Sarinana)

No. =(((

What’s your favorite album by 1? (Paramore)

Riot! =))))

Favorite lyric of 7? (The Dresden Dolls)

"i am not so serious

this passion is a plagiarism
i might join your century
but only on a rare occasion"

it's pretty!

What is one of 2’s best songs? (Lady Gaga)

Bad Romance. HEARTS.

How many times have you seen number 2 live? (Lady Gaga)

NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER.

Which number have you known the longest?

#1 (Paramore)

What’s your favorite song by number 9? (Shakira)

Inevitable.. or maybe Si Te Vas

I KNOW I KNOW I WASTE MUCHNESSES OF TIME.

IT IS OKAY THOUGH.

2011-02-14T08:26:00.002+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

as christabella and i are Officially Engaged, technically i am not single.

however, i am not quite not-single enough to rub it in the faces of all you actually-single people out there, so I will just say the following:

WEE THEAN AND JI HYUN. THAT IS ALL.

actually they're none of my business given i don't even go to NUSH anymore, but once you get past the initial shock and disbelief, that is actually really an adorable couple.

i'm still amused by how my facebook wall has been spammed by people WTF-ing over them though.

i'm also kind of depressed because i'm pretty sure i'm not doing track this year. i actually really wanted to, but it turns out that being responsible about a health condition involves avoiding anything that could remotely hurt you. like tracks that are around fields that could have balls flying around. i can't say i'm happy about that at all, but better safe than sorry, right?

right?

we all know we aren't perfect; that's why it's so odd that each flaw still stings.

i'm still getting used to being back in singapore, bizarrely. the biggest thing to re-accustom myself to? MY SISTERS. they're still awesome though.

yesterday i found myself stranded in jurong and took 1.5 hours to get home.

FAIL MUCH.

2011-02-11T23:03:00.001+08:00

TAIWAN.

so. much. epic.

The night markets were awesome. Taiwanese food! SNOW ICE. Fruit-flavoured milk and tea and awesomeness. barbecue chicken, youtiao, caramelised sweet potato. the non-night-market food was awesomeness too--- we had a different kind every night!

-taiwanese sweets

-giant custard apple

-bag of popcorn

-pepper dried fish

-bucket of strawberries

-box of mochi

-wang wang crackers (okay, so not that uniquely Taiwanese, but we got a HUGE pack for like the equivalent of sixty cents)

the first day was kind of fun but kind of pointless-- airplane trip was just undiluted hilarity. we saw a park with TONS AND TONS of dogs, and then later went to a museum where the lighting was so bad i had to just sit down and stone while everyone else sightsaw. first hotel was nice, although there was some rooming-awkwardness, as there so often is.

second day! chiang kai-shek memorial hall. pretty painted lanterns. stalkery photos of the insides of random people's cars! Long long long bus ride inside of bright red tour bus. many many many rest stops-- MOCHI MUSEUM WIN WIN WIN. free samples, too. taiwan's longest tunnel. pretty sure that was the day we bought mochi. MOCHI PARTAY. bought clothing for self + christabella while wandering around the streets of wherever we actually were. (....oops, forgot where we actually were. =/)

THIRD DAY. taroko national park looked like something that came out of the inside of a seashell. hearts. cliffs. epically lovely but made katie have panic attacks. many tunnels. rest stops at Guanyin shrine, Tropic of Cancer Monument, and Three Immortals, which was a pretty beach covered in round stones where Katie attempted to jump across something and tripped and fell into someone. we adopted a piece of driftwood before finding out later we weren't supposed to... oh well. here we are, Peffy Flaffy Limenfrank. (awesome driftwood names for the forever win!) That night I think we were intending to have a dried-fish party BUT LEFT THE DRIED FISH IN THE TOUR BUS. hotel was an adorable resort in the middle of nowhere that organised Disastrous Activities. the one where people were told to act sexy was particularly eyebrow-raising. and then the one where this guy on our trip dropped his trousers. MOVING ON. we had these lanterns that we would write wishes on and light up and they would go into the sky and fly away. my group's one went up high enough just to be a teeny orange light before GOING OUT and FALLING OUT OF THE SKY. so we all ran after it to see where it would land. luckily in some sort of deserted grassy hollow. then somebody poked it and it caught fire again and flew up after us while burning and we shrieked and ran away. (high schoolers, very courageous, yes?) but all it did was turn into a cloud of black dust. OUR WISHES BROKE THE LANTERN. our wishes went down in flames!! although, to be fair, most people didn't write wishes; they drew things like hamburgers and phallic rocket ships. no wonder the lantern didn't make it.

that evening i was emo.

fourth day! strawberry cornflakes + chicken nuggets for breakfast. bus trip to kaohsiung. roadside fruit stand!! i didn't even like custard-apple before stopping there, but afterwards... well. MANY HEARTS. i bought a huuuuge custard apple and a large orange. strawberry smoothie courtesy of Melinda! kaohsiung's old British Consulate was in red-brick and oh-so-pretty and we saw a lot of Falun Gong practitioners who just happened to be there. we took a ferry to this island and rode motorised bicycles around. without like any training or practice at all. SO MUCH PANIC. we were driving along the side of this road in single file in these peculiar two-person hybrids between bicycles and golf-carts while navigating pedestrians, bicycles, cars and motor scooters going every which way.... fun, but utterly terrifying, especially when one suddenly forgets how to brake. katie and melinda had a close encounter of the painful kind with a car. its entire muffler came off and katie's knee got screwed and six people came out to yell at her and this person on our trip tried to do the obnoxious, malicious, generally awful thing of saying she'd done it on purpose and from all accounts it was awful. i wouldn't know, since i was kind of stranded at the park along with everyone who'd been in front of them in our single file. NEWSFLASH TO PEOPLE. IF YOU TRY TO BLAME UNRELATED THINGS ON A PERSON'S ILLNESS, DISABILITY OR DISORDER, YOU ARE BEING OFFENSIVE. anyway they caught up with us eventually and katie needed several hugs and we slid down this random rainbow sculpture several times and i screwed up my knee. then some of the bikes were broken so after riding back to the bike place we had to go back sans passengers to pick up the other people... by that point it was dark out and we were joyriding down the roads rather recklessly. epic fun, but i wouldn't necessarily do it again. i don't even know whether i damaged anything. =/ SO AFTER THAT WE WENT TO THE NIGHT MARKET AND IT WAS EPIC EPIC FUN AND REALLY REALLY AWESOME and i ate barbecue chicken and youtiao and strawberry milk and strawberry snow ice and caramelised sweet potato and no matter how much it cost it was worth it. then we went back to the hotel and i ended up hacking the skin off the custard apple with a tiny plastic coffee stirrer and it was delicious.

fifth day!! SUN MOON LAKE. research presentation! before sun moon lake, the Big Red Bus took us to a coffee place where we picked up a big bag of popcorn and i had a caramel milk tea. AWESOMENESS, i tell you. then, bizarrely, a wine place where we were strictly forbidden from having anything alcoholic. we did have icecream sandwiches! PEACH FLAVOUR. boat ride at Sun Moon Lake was superb. we saw Lalu Island and it was tinyyyyyy and adorable. then we stopped at a temple on the other side of the lake and katie picked up a pamphlet on Buddhism and then it had a thing on the back telling us we had to treat it with respect and we discussed its merits for a while before trying to translate the Falun Gong pamphet we'd somehow picked up on the way back through the lake. and then another NIGHT MARKET. huge corn dogs, a game machine full of Grass Mud Horses, a racist tea vendor we accidentally bought from before noticing the large sign on his shop saying GO AWAY KOREANS, these phallic-shaped cakes being sold under the tagline A Piece of Gayke.... O____________O

sometime that day we also stopped by a large monastery with a temple with many huge and amazing statues and a lovely garden.

and then we ended up in the nicest hotel of the whole entire trip where we just sort of listened to Melinda's music and ate popcorn. the rooms had those fancy japanese toilets!! haha so random. we drew pictures in the condensation on the windows.

sixth day! the first day when i didn't hear the morning call and had to get woken up by someone else who did. breakfast was lovely and sociable for once. we went strawberry-picking but since the strawberries had pesticide we had to take them back to the hotel first and wash them a lot. Katie got high on betel nut and took funny pictures. we went to the ximending area and i got awesome awesome food and i bought souvenirs for everyone. we shared a peach snow ice, which was really delicious-- its slight lack of peachiness was more than made up for by the added tinned peaches. we stopped by the Martyrs' Shrine and watched the changing of the guard, and katie fell asleep on a bench without us noticing. Dinner was absolutely incredible-- we went to this tiny place selling Japanese-style Western food in a very Japanese-style Western manner. (White and red everywhere, frills, wicker, baked rice, tons upon tons of cake..) It was an order-all-you-can-eat type of place and our table ate SO MUCH. Maybe eight platters of food and definitely nine pieces of cake between the three of us. All of it except the vegetable spaghetti was delicious; the vegetable spaghetti simply tasted very strongly of vegetable. if i'd eaten any more of it at all i would most certainly have been very ill, but looking back i find myself wishing i'd eaten more just because of its awesomeness. then we went back to the hotel we stayed in the very first night, somehow having made our way back to Taipei. went to 7-11, freeloaded shamelessly off Katie, ate a muchness of crackers and some strawberries, and crashed in Katie and Melinda's hotel room rather than going back to the room i shared with Summitt where i actually had an actual bed.

LAST DAY. we went to Taipei 101, which was rather a disappointment because even though the lift was fun, the 89th storey was just a tourist-trap-style collection of overpriced shops and the observation deck only had a tiny corner open to the public. even the binoculars were coin-operated. then we ate at Din Tai Fung and what can i even say? it was so, so, so, so, so, so good. SO GOOD.

then we went to the airport and i picked up more souvenirs and stressed out about being late for our flight, so we went through departure immigration-is that what it's called?- and i stressed out some more due to not actually being used to travelling while only carrying a small black bag + shopping. and then we got on the airplane and CAME BACK HERE. yay.

i told my mother i was blogging and she said it was good and would develop my writing skills. i feel kind of really guilty because nothing i have actually written is remotely close to anything that would even require writing skills.

ri-chan and i have MATCHING BEST-FRIEND T-SHIRTS NOW. BE VERY VERY AFRAID.

also i got her a creepy fashion doll that is very adorable and we have named her Tanya.

no, whatever doesn't cover it this time, you liar.

2011-02-04T20:34:00.002+08:00

i leave for taiwan tomorrow morning!

week's worth of clothing + stuff compressed into a tiny suitcase--WISH ME LUCK.

happy CNY holidays everyone and have a lovely time at school.

and get well soon, Yoru-senpai!!!

also good luck with NS. =/

NO YUHAN I AM NOT STEALING THE SHINY BALL FROM TAIPEI 101 FOR YOU.

2011-02-03T10:00:00.002+08:00

so today i have absolutely zero to do except for packing and taiwan-trip-researching and such.

yay!

it's almost eleven and my sister is still asleep, which is Pretty Impressive.

aaaah Christabella why are you in Indonesia

2011-02-02T13:51:00.003+08:00

today was the last day of school before CNY break and the taiwan trip!

for which we are meeting at the airport at 8 on Saturday

it was a halfday which was brilliant

but i ended up on the schoolbus right in front of two boys who were having the oddest conversation.

Random guy to cool-guy friend: You can duct-tape my face and stick a straw up my a--hole!

(which is censored because honestly, honestly, well, REALLY?)

I wrote out a whole lot more but i shall not mention it in case one or the other is actually identifiable from the information and all hell breaks loose. haha wouldn't that be awful. there is a reason why quotes like that are not everyday occurrences!

in other news: I AM ENGAGED TO CHRISTABELLA.

hearts.

(this post has been edited for the sake of Random Guy.)

2011-02-01T17:47:00.001+08:00

last day of school tomorrow and then TAIWAN TRIP on saturday.

physics quiz + english poem recitation tomorrow.

wish me luck!!

full marks on my bio test which I am very happy about but rubbish results on math quiz.

haha this is starting to feel more like a report card than a blog.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE TAIWAN TRIP.

let me know if you want me to bring you back anything!!

2011-01-30T10:55:00.002+08:00

dear Mr. Not-A-Loser, sometimes you should just let other people walk away from an argument.

not to concede defeat, because i still feel strongly about this, but

you can argue it all you want and not have to walk away from the battle feeling dirty and hated

that's really nice for you.

2011-01-28T22:32:00.002+08:00

SKINS.

SEASON FIVE EPISODE ONE.

OH HOW IN LOVE I AM.

on the minus side:

i have an awful cold.

and spent the afternoon crashing on my bed eating junk food and watching TV shows with a sore throat and plenty of painkillers.

okay, so i didn't think US Skins was going to be awful

because hey don't knock it till you've tried it

and more Skins can only be a good thing, right?

UNRIGHT.

WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG.

it is lousy compared to UK Skins.

aaah i have to start looking up Pushing Daisies soon to keep up my end of the bargain.

cannot wait for glee to start!

cannot wait for the taiwan trip either.

IF ONLY THIS COLD WOULD END.

i feel so very very zombified.

2011-01-27T20:21:00.002+08:00

there's a fine, fine line.... between love, and a waste of your time.

a little bit further out of the emo quagmire.

hahaha we all know what side of the line i'm always going to be on. =/

andddd SKINS! Season 5! Episode 1! SHOWING TODAY IN BRITAIN!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh Franky why are you straight.

2011-01-26T22:32:00.002+08:00

UNFUN.

but you know what is fun?

doing well on your calculus test, that's what's fun.

also eating melted+solidified chocolate almonds. AWESOME shapes. like when they melt and take on the shape of the inside of the container and harden again.

today my sisters and i threw orange peel around.

then we picked it all up.

so responsible, i know.

i still type '309' instead of '409'. miss you guys.

there goes the last chocolate almond. FAREWELL, DEAR FRIENDS, YOU HAVE SERVED ME WELL.

you know when something really weird crops up but you can't talk about it with the person you usually would because there's like awkwardness involved?

something really weird has cropped up.

i shall ignore it.

the other night i dreamt about malicious Chinese vampires. they were like literally skin and bones with looooonnnng scary thin hair and jumped in huge bounds and even when you killed them and their skulls were dried and unmoving in a crypt they would still be sentient and just watching you. and if you ground them up then they would turn into Evil Powder like a curse. weird dream!canon!!

some dreams aren't nightmares until you wake up.

2011-01-23T20:52:00.002+08:00

life was never ever ever going to throw us together.

and i'm never ever ever going to see you again.

some days i think about you

and how i cared so badly for the first random person to care.

all i really hope is that you're happy.

today i watched burlesque!

it had absolutely zero plot but was fairly good.

i heart christina aguilera's voice.

and katie showed up which was awesome.

actually we met at ri-chan's house

except SOME GENIUS got on the wrong bus and ended up at the freaking JOHOR BAHRU CHECKPOINT instead of christabella's house in BUKIT TIMAH ROAD. (yes, russell, i am looking at you.)

then ri-chan gave me post-its but i left them at her house.

they were star-shaped.

and we had lunch at subwayyyyyyyyyyyyy. aah i love subway.

calculus test tomorrow. utterly utterly utterly doomed. wish me muchnesses of luck.

taking the 171 to plaza sing was fun!

Katie: Russell. Get some.

hahaha random quote was random.

2011-01-22T19:42:00.002+08:00

LONG TIME NO POST.

yesterday I went to Juliana's place for a sleepover. Katie and Chloe were there too. we watched Hetalia and the whole business was epically hilarious. then i did not get to sleep until a disgraceful hour so i am determined to right that by getting extra sleep tonight.

and then tomorrow i am to be at ri-chan's house at 10am for watching of Dreamgirls... although i hope we figure out how to play it on the television because if not that would be kind of tragic. also i hope katie realises that i emailed her with ri-chan's address because she hasn't replied to the email yet and i am worried she hasn't seen it.

aaaaagh.

2011-01-17T21:52:00.002+08:00

i think my definitions are wonky.

gahh so tired, should probably go to bed now i suppose but i am helping naomi with her commonwealth essay or at any rate discussing it with her.

met yoru-senpai for lunch yesterday, which was really awesome. forgot how nice it was just hanging out actually.

today i crashed at ri-chan's place for a while. in total i must have walked almost half an hour in the rain. unfun.

now having done most of my homework i will GO TO SLEEP.

yay.

also, ri-chan, i need to beg for an exception on some things my sister pressed upon me. =(

2011-01-14T12:53:00.002+08:00

i am happy because katie and russell are watching skins courtesy of my most annoying YOUMUSTWATCHSKINS announcements. -happy happy happy-

also happy because of very very brilliant PLAN test results.

also happy because I did all my homework for mo bio today and it's a friday and although i've been responsible-ish and done English work there's really not much that i need to be doing at this moment.

which is utterly lovely.

i heart friday afternoons.

2011-01-12T20:21:00.003+08:00

alright, so in physics i thought there was going to be an online assignment...

...but there is no online assignment.

youtube is lagging like a very laggy thing and not letting me watch Skins at a rate fast enough to make out what's going on.

almost out of cookies.

today's health class video was the most intellectually patronising thing i've watched since Disney Channel over the holidays.

2011-01-10T19:13:00.001+08:00

DID I MENTION I FOUND THE ROCK CANDY

2011-01-10T13:02:00.003+08:00

so here I am at my very first day of school for this year.

health class was interesting, somewhat; also somewhat alarming-- 50% participation grade, really? I FORESEE AN INABILITY TO DOODLE IN HEALTH CLASS IN MY FUTURE.

then in calculus we went over the exam and ahahaha the grades of people with a B or above are listed on the door from highest to lowest and guess whose name is RIGHT AT THE TOP. clearly calculus class was good for my ego.

right now i have free. yay free.

then after that there's bio which will be meh-ish although i foresee a going over of the exam, which will be good again for the ego. =)

(did i mention that i liked my grades?)

all in all, it's nice to be back.

2011-01-08T09:50:00.002+08:00

my school starts on monday; how exceedingly terrifying.

MO training starts again today. i rather liked having my saturday afternoons off, but whatever.

i can't believe i was bored with my holidays when i had them. I WANT MY HOLIDAYS BACK ALREADY. AND SCHOOL HASN'T EVEN ACTUALLY STARTED.

stressed.

so, life is fairly average. still need to pass Yoru-senpai his book if i haven't lost it already.

speaking of losing things,

a sincere apology to

Ri-chan

Russell

Isaac

Yoru-senpai

Naomi

Awa

Katie

and Cyrus.

i seem to have misplaced the rock candy i was going to give everyone as a christmas present.

i will alert you if it turns up, but after all these days i'm starting to give up hope.

who the hell loses christmas presents after purchasing?

;______;

2011-01-07T09:12:00.002+08:00

celebratory mid-afternoon snack, monday.

I have rediscovered a type of butter cookie that we used to get way back when in Hong Kong in these round blue tins. The tins are not exactly identical but the cookies are, and at any rate they are all round and blue. Not the cookies; the tins.

pretzel-shaped mini butter cookies with sugar all over.

THE AWESOMENESS.

school

starts

soon.

2011-01-06T21:57:00.002+08:00

failing.

fading.

falling.

still we're on top of the world.

(don't look down.)

do you ever want to take someone by the shoulders and shake them until they acknowledge someone else's intrinsic awesomeness?

personally, i need to have my idiocy amputated.

so today

i told someone something i'm pretty sure they already knew and they didn't disown me.

ground is broken.

so today the cards told me i'm still sitting here on earth.

so today time died on me as I waited.

no i don't know who you're talking about.

2011-01-04T06:31:00.002+08:00

Happy January 4th!

Got woken up by my sister clearing out at 6am. THIS IS GOING TO BE HAPPENING FOR THE NEXT SIX DAYS. UNHAPPY FACE.

Haha Ri-chan is coming over today again. I don't know what I will do after everyone starts going to school regularly and I still have five days (okay, so not that much really) to hang around at home being boreded half to death.

This is a mostly pointless blog post, I'm afraid.

Today I think I will paint my nails orange.

2011-01-03T20:19:00.003+08:00

today was awesome

supposed to watch Tron with Ri-chan, Isaac and Russell

ended up watching Tangled with Ri-chan, Isaac, Russell and Cyrus.

=))

We discovered the epic-est shopping mall game ever: SCAVENGER HUNT.

And looked for:

Picture of a Dog

Batman and Superman

Cat

Katy Perry

Apple

Airplane

Purple + Glittery Objects

'I Don't Know'

Charcoal

Ricola

Aliens

Gay Sex

Apricot

among other things.

In which one could find either the word or the object, so don't raise your eyebrows too high.

The whole business was highly entertaining.

Good places for playing Scavenger Hunt:

Bookstore

Spotlight

Bad places for playing Scavenger Hunt:

Food Court

Then ended up hosting Ri-chan and Isaac for dinner and watching part of Tron, but Ri-chan had to go and then the online video failed and anyway the whole film seemed pretty rubbish so I'm relieved we didn't watch it.

Tangled was quite okay really.

2011-01-02T00:01:00.002+08:00

Happy new year, everyone!

I don't think I've quite absorbed that it's 2011 yet.

I will now proceed to talk at length about 2010.

2010 was a long year.

It was an awful year.

It was a great year.

If, right now, I met the myself of exactly one year ago, I don't think I would really recognise myself.

It was a year in which everything changed.

A year in which the more things changed, the more things stayed the same.

I've come through so much, but I don't know if I've changed at all.

I'm petrified of mediocrity, and every time I look behind myself-- one year, two years, ten years-- I find it.

I should probably stop expecting to escape it. The moment I'm far enough away from today to see myself through a different pair of eyes, I'll find mediocrity all over again.

No resolutions.

Some hopes and expectations.

A pile of regrets like dead white embers.

(I owe you an apology, Vivian.)

A hole left somewhere, because of course I just had to clear out six months after finding the first place in that school where I felt at home.

As for changing schools, well.

I miss a lot of people.

I've met a lot of people.

I remember 309 and I want to cry;

I remember NUSH and I'm glad I got out.

In maybe five years I'll look back and figure out whether I regretted any of it.

In 2010, people have been more important than ever.

I'd like to thank:

Christabella

Russell

Yoru-senpai

Naomi

Isaac

Cyrus

Awa

Katie

Sean

Deepti

for being there in bits and pieces, for being awesome in some way or other.

i love you guys.

also a side dedication to Yuhan: didn't really expect that i'd end up talking to you much, but you're pretty awesome too. =)

Here's hoping for a happy 2011 and continued friendships. Picnic club, anyone?

2010-12-15T17:20:00.002+08:00

having butchered The Only Exception for Calculus yesterday, I feel I ought to continue on with the Paramore-massacring.

I WANT SANTANA TO GET TOGETHER WITH BRITTANY AND SING MISERY BUSINESS TO/ABOUT ARTIE WITH APPROPRIATE PRONOUN CHANGES. SEE BELOW:

I'm in the business of misery,
Let's take it from the top.
She's got a body like an hourglass it's ticking like a clock.
It's a matter of time before we all run out,
When I thought she was mine he caught her by the mouth.

I waited eight long months,
He finally set her free.
I told her I couldn't lie she was the only one for me.
Two weeks and we caught on fire,
He's got it out for me,
But I wear the biggest smile.

Whoa, I never meant to brag
But I got her where I want her now.
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
Just steal it all away from you now.
But God does it feel so good,
Cause I got her where I want her now.
And if you could then you know you would.
Cause God it just feels so,
It just feels so good.

Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.
Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change.
And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged.
I'm sorry honey, but I'm passin' up, now look this way.
Well there's a million other guys who do it just like you.
Looking as innocent as possible to get to who,
They want and what they like.
It's easy if you do it right.
Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!

Whoa, I never meant to brag
But I got her where I want her now.
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
Just steal it all away from you now.
But God does it feel so good,
Cause I got her where I want him right now.
And if you could then you know you would.
Cause God it just feels so,
It just feels so good.

I watched her wildest dreams come true
Not one of them involving you
Just watch her wildest dreams come true
Not one of them involving.

Whoa, I never meant to brag,
But I got her where I want her now.

Whoa, I never meant to brag
But I got her where I want her now.
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
just steal it all away from you now.
But God does it feel so good,
Cause I got what I wanted now
And if you could then you know you would.
Cause God it just feels so,
It just feels so good.

epic continuity fail and weirdness in lyric-flipping aside,

(because Santana calling Artie a whore is kind of o.o)

BRITTANA IS THE AWESOMENESS.

2010-12-14T19:45:00.003+08:00

short song snippet, courtesy of exam-fueled brain-bloopers:

When I was younger
I saw my pencil break
And cursed at the graph
I failed my exam
By one mark
Trying to find concavity

And I swore again at my graph
Saying I can't believe I forgot
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of a limit
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the point of inflection
You, are, the point of inflection
You, are, the point of inflection
You, are, the point of inflection

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That math is a bitch
And we've got to find other ways
To analyze functions
Without a hitch

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with linear functions
Because not a curve was ever worth the risk

Well,
You, are, the point of inflection
You, are, the point of inflection
You, are, the point of inflection
You, are, the point of inflection~~

incomplete, haha. =)

probably not going to finish either because CALCULUS EXAM IS OVER THANK GOODNESS

2010-12-12T21:42:00.002+08:00

You know you're studying too hard when:

too much mugging of cellular respiration makes you think that one president was called Billular Clinton

you misread a line about religion in your history textbook, leading you to believe that believers are trying to achieve salivation

you are tired enough that both of the above seem to make sense for about ten seconds

you can't remember a time when you didn't have a headache.

;____;

2010-12-09T17:12:00.000+08:00

333RD POST

HALLO HALLO PEOPLE

I have been caught up in the exam rush.

Not good at all.

I am extremely stressed and tired and exhausted and with any luck will not die in the nest week.

2010-12-06T19:16:00.002+08:00

blogging blogging blogging

my next post will be my 333rd.

today's theatre performance went quite awesomely, i am told. many smileys. not many final exams involve the teacher telling you on the day itself that you did amazingly.

although what with all the panic i left a great deal of homework to today to actually do, so.

gah.

history presentation done, history outline pretty much done, physics prac almost done, bio project not quite due yet, english project NOT DONE AT ALL.

i am not the most organised of people, as you may have noticed.

probably should not be blogging at all.

although on a happier note I am planning to bring back like 20 flavours of candy canes from the USA and distribute them to any 20-flavours-of-candy-canes-less people who might want one.

yay candy.

2010-12-04T17:05:00.002+08:00

i know i'm splitting hairs, that i don't even deserve what i have.

but somehow i wish that 'was' were an 'is'.

haha grammatically scary sentence.

also completely exhausted. unsmiley face. so many projects at once. 1/2 done with history, 1/3 done with bio, have not started English at all. unsmiley unsmiley unsmiley.

bio test and theatre final on Monday.

BOOOOOO.

2010-12-02T21:16:00.001+08:00

hi.

i am tired and bored and have started an extremely minor trend in epic-length missives.

unhappy.

2010-12-01T07:53:00.002+08:00

currently kicking self for supreme idiocy.

see: edith claire enright's facebook profile (info). but only if you are a friend. so hahaha to all unknown stalkers.

also, it is december the 1st. happy 1st of december!

2010-11-30T17:44:00.002+08:00

am blasting music from my computer even though my sisters aren't here to be blasted at.

now if only computer speakers were louder.

my art homework is due regrettably soon, which is to say in about 16 hours.

not all of which are even available for me to spend on it, due to such unfortunate necessities of human life as eating and bathing. and sleeping. can't forget sleeping.

i am depressed. can you tell i am depressed? i am Very Depressed. not good.

i am in the mood to read pretty things.

and perhaps mull over the archetype of the tragic hero.

antigone is the much awesomeness.

2010-11-29T20:55:00.004+08:00

to various people: song dedications.

some of them are relevant. some of them just remind me of you.

Mona Lisa- All-American Rejects.

(you'll be the queen, and i'll be your clown)

Beautiful- Glee Cast

(bonus points if you realise this is for you.)

Forgive Me- Evanescence

(we always end up back at this, don't we.)

Firework- Katy Perry

(to someone i will in all probability never meet again. many hearts.)

We are the Champions- Queen

(it's been a long time, my friend, but we are still awesome.)

Boys & Girls- Pixie Lott

(somehow in my head you are tied to NUSH and 309 more than anyone else.)

IMITATION BLACK- Vocaloid

(no explanation needed, right?)

Zombie- The Pretty Reckless

(gay zombies. =))))

and now i am off to chiong art.

EDIT:

and not to forget

Alice- Avril Lavigne

2010-11-29T18:40:00.003+08:00

Currently my life is in a state of Complete And Utter Horrible Nonsense.

I have an art project to complete in the next 40 hours. Needless to say, it is only about three-fifths of the way done.

We had two weeks.

How extremely depressing.

Also my family has all abandoned me to go eat nice food with its friends. Like rats abandoning a sinking ship.

This is really more of a rant than a blogpost, I am sorry to say.

BUT. TODAY IS RUBBISH.

2010-11-27T20:21:00.001+08:00

i wanted to post about how awesome today was

but then it became unawesome.

am watching glee.

glee is always awesome.

christabella most unfortunately is in the Philippines. =(((((((

COME BACK, RI-CHAN, COME BACK!

2010-11-27T09:25:00.003+08:00

hiii.

YESTERDAY I WATCHED HARRY POTTER.

IT WAS THE EPIC AWESOMENESS.

but then I had to go off for a dental appointment.

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE WHO HAS TO LEAVE EARLY.

it is very sad. =((((((((

but anyway the dental appointment went quite okay.

there was also a picnic club meeting the day before but that didn't go quite as awesomely because of general distaste for the head.

NEXT TIME, YES, WE ARE HAVING A PICNIC INDOORS.

also, I meant to type 'heat' but 'head' is so random that i am just leaving it there and lol-ing about it.

i has sunburn on my feet.

2010-11-23T20:27:00.002+08:00

right now i am emoing. ;_____;

calculus test tomorrow SOMEBODY WISH ME LUCK

and i am stranded pretty much alone at home being pointless.

oh what a wonderful day.

today was mostly rubbish really. can't wait for christmas break.

2010-11-22T19:49:00.003+08:00

today this is a post about awesome people

by which i mean people alongside whom i live a parallel life

but who turn out to be more distant than i thought

who also happen to be awesome.

actually really just one person.

what happened?

;___________;

you the always-relied-upon-to-be-worse-than-me are the transcendental one.

you transcend.

i am still way back here where i started.

you are hovering above my head in a cloud of general awesomeness

and i as usual am stuck in the mud down here.

so i am trying to convince you to join me with all the usual and obnoxious and mud-person-y-ness

because i am just so terrified

that it has been so long and our friendship- which has always been based on me running around being a self-absorbed idiot getting other people to do things-

has faded.

picnic club, thursday.

tell me we're not on diverging traintracks like i think we are

because i am still living in the past.

i realised that because i've been not-watching the 7th harry potter movie in case we were going to do a big thing about it.

and we're obviously not, because i never brought it up and everyone is busy and of course people have seen it because it's been out almost a week and i just hope christabella hasn't watched it already too.

somehow i am still all bogged down in my eleven-year-old muddiness watching you fly.

so this is a post dedicated to you because i have not talked to you properly in so rubbishly long and i'm worried i may never get the chance again.

and asking you to come to the picnic because i miss us being friends properly.

and apologising for all my fail horribleness and all my eleven-year-old running around convincing myself i was better than you when you have been so much more awesome all along.

2010-11-20T22:34:00.002+08:00

321st post. =)))))

yesterday was the awesomest day everrrrr.

except for yoru-senpai and his loaded claire complex, but whatever.

so anyway today is pretty much just going to be a normal sunday

which sucks because that means lots of homework and twice the amount of bio homework since i was ill on thursday.

._______________.

and also my art homework is TERRIFYING.

2010-11-20T22:24:00.001+08:00

rolleyes.

the lady is a tramp.

2010-11-20T09:41:00.002+08:00

as always my tagboard is dead

;________;

also i am going to katie's friend juliana's birthday party today

so last night kathy and i went out to plaza singapura at 8 to buy stuff from the otaku house

and she ran into one of her teachers

which was reeeaalllyyy random.

and and and purple day! WAS AWESOME.

thanks everyone for the awesomeness purple shirt. i shall wear it many many times over.

and the present we bought was....USA-CHAN SLIPPERS!

a must-have for any Ouran fan!

=DDDDD

lalalalala

on thursday i was ill. =((

it was a very tragic state of affairs.

luckily it was only that one morning though. =//

NEXT THURSDAY PICNIC CLUB MEETING!

i actually asked katie already if she could make it

but she can't

i forgot that there are people who actually celebrate thanksgiving as a full-day event.

i kind of fail as an american. ._____.

2010-11-18T12:10:00.002+08:00

i watched gleeee!! =)))))

i really love santana today

and kurt

and sue

and mercedes

and mike

and all the baby characters!

baby-rachel and baby-mercedes and baby-mike and baby-brittany and baby-puck

we should have gotten to see more of them. D=

haha I accidentally closed the tab halfway because i thought i was done watching when i'd only gotten to the part with terri yelling at will.

and and kurt and blaine are so cute

=)))))